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Posted in Zafu #LifeBeyondStigma

Friend as Zafu

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” I am really sad because of all difficulties I am facing in my life,I am not getting promoted ,my salary doesn’t justify the hard work I put in my work,I need to buy a home which I can’t do and sometimes I feel like my life has no motive ” ,He told to his friend.

“You know you should thank to God for capabilities  you have and you can always find other options to get what you want ,sometimes time doesn’t work according to our effort, but that doesn’t mean that we get anxious and stop trying.Also when you feel that you don’t have motive in life, try to help those who don’t have education to find work , who can’t afford a place to buy on rent even and who don’t have food to eat”, his friend said.

This is just a piece of fiction but I think  if every friend,parent,teacher,boss will act as zafu, helping his/her friend/colleague/children in realising the importance of their life by showing them facets of positivity when they need it most then stress, depression and suicide like terms will be rarely heard.

Thought of the day :

When ever you feel that you are the most unhappy person on earth, look around yourself and you will find people who have many more reasons of grief but still they manage to smile and think positive.

© Payal Tyagi,Writings By Payal Tyagi

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Posted in Zafu #LifeBeyondStigma

Depression #Let’stalk

smile

Last year we heard about major sensational cases of Pratyusha Banerjee’s suicide and Jia Khan’s case ,who were not just the ordinary girls but the girls who made their name in the Indian TV industry and  get failed in love life, so they gave up . Here a question arise, do they had right to give up their life for a person who just came three to four years back, without thinking about their parents who came in  life much before that or I would say don’t think about anyone but isn’t their life so precious to ruin it for someone else who didn’t understand their value and took them for granted and the answer comes ,”No, they should not“..

Here I will narrate a real incident to inspire how nihilism of depression could be turn bright as shine of sun when it rise.I have a friend named Anu (fictional name) who was in very much love with a  boy named  Arun(fictional name) and they were happy in their relation till one year .They both were studying till that time.Arun was very much possessive for her and slowly slowly in one way or the other he got her disconnected from her friends.Even he hacked her social media accounts for a time . He just became her world & because of his dominating nature she used to do whatever he asked her to do. He used to assault her in public, but even then she couldn’t break her  relation because she was not having any trustworthy friend at that time around her whom she could rely on. After a year both completed their college and got placement.Even after so much complications in relationship Anu wanted to marry with Arun.She got job in small marketing company ,her schedule became hectic and Arun was employed in reputed MNC and he started harassing her mentally, for  working long hours and coming late at night and not searching a better job because for him it was not a reputed one.He started judging her skills. She belonged to a middle class family, who hardly afforded her education and so she had the pressure of responsibility of doing the job ,to start her career and the most notable point is  classification of job does not exist and no one becomes CEO of an organization in  a day but Arun could not understand that .She tried to change her job, but didn’t get any by that time.Gradually the fights between Anu and Arun increased and to lessen the turmoil she resigned from her job, just to make her love relationship strong & for finding better job in terms of Arun.A week after she resigned ,Arun revealed that he  want to break up the relation as he is with another girl from last one month.Her life was totally shaken as she was jobless and heart broken and none of us was with her because we didn’t know her world’s circumstances .

She found a new job but she could not come out of her depression.People around her in hostel used to make comments and bully her as if she was responsible for her break up. But she tried hard to live .She used to weep in nights,but she didn’t give up.Even she was not getting stability in job and it was difficult to survive in those dusky days.She had to change one job and  get another one,because at one place she was not liking work and at other place she became victim of politics played by colleagues.The only support she was having was of her parents,due to which she was not having courage of taking any drastic step .Eventually after an eerie phase she got a good job with stability to step up her career and after that she never turned back.She got married to a person who understand her very well and love her more than anything else.

 She told me now about this incident of her life when we met at my home.I asked her the reason why she didn’t tell me once,but I myself understood her hesitation because she was afraid of getting judged.Her story is an inspiration for every ordinary girl/boy going through same mental trauma.Our life is precious,it is a gift by God.Life may be hell today but it could turn in to bright future .Suicide should not be counted as suicide , it is a murder which is provoked by some other person whom we loved most,society and family relatives , due to which a person never come back home ,even if he/she wants too.People need to come forward and share their depression stories to lessen the burden of their heart and mind and Deepika Padukone (Bollywood Actress)started the process last year , Thanks to her for being such a great inspiration .We all have responsibility towards our society,don’t accentuate a person more who is already facing difficulty in his education ,personal life or anything else,instead we should try to make them laugh,lighten up their life by encouraging them.Nothing is better than inspiring a person to live his/her life on their own conditions

 

Depression #Letstalk

It’s an old post , thought to share it again.Thanks for reading 🙂

Posted in Motivation, Zafu #LifeBeyondStigma

Zumba is the new trend in fitness

Are you a person who always want to do something for yourself and your body but find gym ,jog and just exercises too boring ? then let’s do hi-5 because it happened with me too. As we know there are two kinds of people , some people who doesn’t gain weight even if they don’t exercise and eat everything and some are those kinda who if don’t take care of their body easily gain weight and I am from one of the second kinda . So in pressure of doing something, firstly I tried gym but it wasn’t apt for me ,then I started morning walk even but couldn’t continue it due to environmental effects and in this hustle bustle of trying new things, leaving them with no constraint on eating habits ,I had gained lot of weight in past few months and everybody around me made sure of reminding that.

What I had found about my requirement of joining activity was something with which I may get swayed and even if I try to discontinue, it doesn’t let me.But before finding out what exactly should I do ,I went through lots of dilemma.Firstly thought to join yoga, then about learning swimming ,joining badminton and different activities, finally I came to know about Zumba from one of my friend which was new for me and I thought of exploring it. I searched for the Zumba sessions in my area and luckily my search ended with 100 feet dance studio in Hyderabad which provides Zumba, Bollywood, Tollywood dancing and Afro beat classes.For those who are not much aware about “Zumba “,

Zumba is a “fun and effective” dance fitness class that provides “A total workout, combining all elements of fitness – cardio, muscle conditioning, balance and flexibility, boosted energy and a serious dose of awesomeness each time you leave class.A unique element of Zumba is that you receive very few verbal cues. The teacher shouts encouraging words and a few basic instructions, but mostly students watch and mimic”.

The most interesting part is that all over the world it should work on same format but every studio doesn’t follow the standards.So when I took my first session of demo class in 100 feet dance studio I became very sure that this is the thing I wanna do because here it included every activity from stretching to dancing feet with some yoga asanas and meditation. The cumulative effect of doing Zumba in my dance studio is, a body that is stiff and somewhat robotic will have to react and dance in appropriate multidirectional patterns relaxing the brain, increasing cardiovascular fitness, improving agility and co-ordination, strengthening muscles, bones from multiple angles and enhancing flexibility.

Our Instructors Geeta & Sumit

And what I liked most about my studio is that, there is no one to judge you, all you need to do is move your body whether your steps are syncing or not and after some days, body get used to moves and start copying and nobody can understand this better than me because I am very bad in following.That one hour session is to relax mind and let just the body work and sometimes different sort of complement dancing becomes the icing on cake which really connected me with Zumba class because dancing has always been my hobby and it’s really fun rather than just work out and here one can expect upbeat music and dancing, including Bollywood, salsa, merengue, mambo, flamenco, soca, samba, hip hop and tango – and if you can lean into the experience, smiles, cheering, a good sweat and possibly a few giggles will be the goodies to take along .When I started my classes I used to have muscle strain and pain but instructors guided me with some low impact version until my body regained it’s normal state.Now, I know there are people who will scoff and say that Zumba is not as intense a workout as, say boot camp or one of those ultimate beach-body classes that many gym offers. That may be true, but it is also true that a class won’t do me any good if I won’t go to it.

Me and my Zumba batch mates…

Dance performance by me and my batch mates on Balam Pichkari song……

It’s been just two months since I have joined it so I can’t boast much about the changes occurred in my body shape because I have set high goals for me ,though people around me have started complementing me but what I have noticed prominently about me is that I am feeling better about myself and gained much confidence. All I can conclude is that quintessence of my persona and dance have been embraced .

Zumba is for everybody and every body.

Thanks for reading 🙂

 

Posted in TravelMemoirs

That Trip To Kashmir

 

Have you ever been to Kashmir ??Well, Kashmir is glorious crown of India which attracts people to come and create some special moments for them.When first downpour of snow get starts in winter , which slowly converts in a thick layer of blanket over mountains, it becomes fascinating.During that time first ray of sun in the morning gives tranquility in mind and even Summer has its own charm. So here starts my exciting story of the memorable trip.
In January 2006 while I had already started graduation ,my father surprised us with air tickets of Kashmir, making us realising the fact that ,

“Life is an exam where the syllabus is unknown and question papers are not set.”

because we (me and my mother )were really terrified due to terrible environment of violence in Kashmir we had seen in movies and used to frequently read in news, but were left with no other option instead of packing our bags because he was not ready to cancel them at any cost.And in all this hustle bustle of fear and adventure, finally the day came when we left for Delhi to depart.

We reached two hours before our flight time for security check in and after finishing it ,we were again left with one more hour to wait for boarding.My father sat on the bench with newspaper in boarding lounge which was enough for him to spend leisure till the flight staff called us.My younger brother was in very much enthusiasm for traveling to new place ,so he was sorting out his queries regarding new location by talking to Mom.Only I was left who had nothing to do, except roaming here and there because that time I wasn’t interested in reading even  .When I came back to sit on bench with my family,I slightly noticed the young handsome guy with greenish eye balls was sitting opposite to us, reading newspaper with his glances on me little bit  .After sometime when the boarding get started , we moved towards the flight and grabbed our seats as per the allotment.Me, my brother and mom were in one row, while my father sat in opposite row.Coincidentally that same handsome guy got the seat in our opposite row.So amidst both of us was the aisle. Till now after so many years of that trip,I had never seen so many seats remaining vacant specially in Jet Airways.Fortunately on that day lots of seats were vacant.As soon as we settled down, my Mom took out candies from her purse and distributed among us, my bro gave them to my father who was on the window seat of the opposite row, out of which he gave few to that guy.He liked the friendly nature of my Dad, and accepted candies.Astonishingly when the flight was ready for take off, Dad asked me if I want that window seat, as he could grab another window seat for which he had already confirmed from Air Hostess due to vacancy and also he didn’t knew that he is going to give a chance to that guy to start conversation with me, otherwise an Indian father will never do that ….. he..he

I was watching out of window, when unexpectedly I heard a voice asking,”Hello,If you don’t mind can we talk ?” Hesitatingly, because my parents were around us and he was a stranger firstly I thought to refuse, but as there was nothing to worry about and even I was getting bored , I nodded my head in agreement ,”Yeah tell me “.And from here our one hour fifteen minutes journey started from Delhi,,,,,,,
He:Hi, my name is Sameer, Sameer Shah and yours???
Me : Payal
He: Is this your first trip to Kashmir??
Me: Yes
He:Oh!! I belong to Srinagar only.
Me:OK,that’s great !
He: Well I am in third year of M.B.B.S and doing it from Nagpur,and you??
Me: I am in first year of my graduation in Biotechnology.
He: Oh Wow!! It is having good scope, now a days (Grinning)!!
Me: Yeah, but not much in India.Well I have a question in mind, as you belongs to Srinagar, how do you people manage to live ,when there is such terrifying environment of riots, conflicts?? I am  getting goosebumps while going as a tourist even.
He:Giggled,,, Though my parents sent me outside Kashmir for studies, just because of such environment only, so that I may concentrate on studies, forgetting everything.But for us these bomb blasts and firings are like crackers bursting on festivals. It’s my home town and still a heaven, so I can’t leave coming to this place, to my family.And believe me, it is very much safe for tourists…..
Me: Startled by what he told, but impressed by his spirit.So who all are there in your family??
He: Mine is nuclear family with my father, mother & my younger sister Shama.
Me: OK !! giggled..(while looking outside window)
He: Well, I found your father’s nature very friendly, as I have never seen anyone asking for any thing to stranger in flight.
Me: Yeah, he is !!!(grinned with confused expressions, whether he is really impressed or just embarrassing me)
He: So where you all will be staying in Srinagar??
Me: In some hotel,name I don’t know ,my father would be knowing.
He: Why don’t you people stay at our home.We will show your family all the places around as per their wish.
Me: Well that would be our pleasure!! but for this you need to ask my father( which I was sure, he will never do) because he only planned the whole trip( while again staring outside from window, as I knew my brother and mother were rolling their eyeballs on me which made me feel weird.Might be I could stop this conversation in between, but I didn’t want that because I found him gentle and genuine.
He:I brought three boxes of oranges from Nagpur,I always bring them for my family,when ever I come for vacations,So would you like to take one??
Me: No,Thanks !! We already have lots of baggage with us.
He:OK !
Me: Another question popped in my head and I somehow asked without giving a second thought,”Surely you would be having any girl friend ??”
He: Guffawed!! How you are so sure??
Me: No I mean, you are a medical student with good looks , caring for a stranger even, what else any girl wants??
He: Ha…ha Even I can ask you same question, as you also look beautiful, so do you have boyfriend ?Anyways I don’t have, because I don’t have time for it with hell burden of medical books.
Me: ( with dancing heart, as I was complimented).No I don’t have.So when ever you will look for, what will be your priority??
He: Though I have not set any priority,but want a girl with beautiful heart much more than her looks.
Me: (Can’t say whether the line was to impress or he really believes that,but I was impressed)Oh ! ! If you really think so,I must say you have beautiful spirit.
He: Thanks !! Yes I really believe so…
Me:(Srinagar was about to come as mountains covered with layers of ice became visible)Again I started looking outside window to enjoy the beauty of nature and the landscape seems like a black & white sketch drawn on extreme canvas with sharp black graphite pencil.While I was totally adrift in the scenic beauty, again I heard his voice….
He:This time outside temperature would be in minus,so keep yourself covered with multiple sweaters and an overcoat.In summertime ,it turns up in to green.
Me: OK !! (simply nodded)
He: Take my number as I will be here for ten days , in case you need any help…9259……

Me: I didn’t hear his number ,because don’t  know why but I quickly realised that if I took his number,I might not be able to control my self from calling him and though it was too early to think but I also knew we are not going to have any future ,because he was from different religion and state, which my family won’t support and this boy was too pretty for just friendship, so better to leave it at that turn.
He: Do you have any mail id, so that sometimes I may send you message, just as a friend ??
Me: No….
He: (with a shock)Seriously I can’t believe that,how is it possible ???? You must be lying.
Me: But this is true…I am sorry.
He: I am really impressed !!

Was he or  he interpreted me as a fool?? (dilemma…    )
Anyways in few minutes we were about to land in Srinagar as per the instructions of flight captain.
He : Hopefully will catch you somewhere in Srinagar (grinned)
Me: Let’s see!! (from heart I really wanted if we could meet again, might be just to know him better as a person )
And the flight landed………
Me:  Take care. Bye( felt quite sad because I didn’t realize how that one hour fifteen minutes had spent so fast, but anyways I had to move)
He: Bye . You too….
While we got down from flight, my father attacked me with bullets of questions……Why I was talking to him ?What we were talking about? Did we exchanged numbers….and I exclaimed , a big NO!!
Somehow my Mom supported me with her interruption,”It’s fine if she was talking, she was talking in front of us and I have confidence on her”.
We arrived at the airport and reached to belt at which our luggage was loaded.While we were collecting our bags, unexpectedly Sameer came to my father and asked,”Uncle would you like to come with us and stay at our home” ? which my father softly refused with acknowledgement of his pre-bookings of hotels etc and he left the place with gesture of final bye.

Though I couldn’t believe that how a person can be so perfect ,but his last humble expression had earned lot of respect for him in my heart .I don’t know what would have happened, if I had taken his number, but the turn at which I left it is unforgettable ,as an alluring memoir and this trip had changed my opinion about Kashmir too.We roamed on streets of Kashmir ,around Dal lake even on 26th January and there was nothing to worry about.Few of the Kashmiri locals offered us Kahwa(kashmiri green tea flavoured with cardamom and saffron) on Shikara and while we wandered around. With all my experience I reached to a conclusion that it’s not actually the local residents who are earning money by simple living, creating problems in Kashmir, but the separatists who don’t count themselves as Indians and militants of other countries who have made prominence in Kashmir now  .

Source: That Trip To Kashmir

Posted in Zafu #LifeBeyondStigma

Best Birthday Gift for a writer

Today is my Birthday and my life partner gifted me a book theme cake mentioning achievements of my blog from past one year, and two books on the side from the best authors of writing to read, learn and improve more in writing skills which are motivating me to take resolution of writing more, expressing more and utilising the canvas of blog for painting my thoughts and spreading the word.

Thanks Hubby 😍😍

Posted in Achievement

Time for another shout out !!

 

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Hey Friends !!

Hope you are doing well. Finally the day has come when my blog has crossed 500 followers   .Yeah you might feel bizarre that what’s the big deal in achieving such number because there are many new bloggers who claim to reach at this level very soon after they start.But here I would ask you a question before writing anything further . Have you asked a turtle how it feels when he slowly and steadily wins the race ?? Here  that turtle is me ,though I had not been part of any race in blogging with others, as we all are on same boat on word press , but still I am enthralled by this achievement because my continuity and hard work paid off I believed, and I am at upper level from what I had before .Though my writings got 511 followers today, but my viewers are more than it since from long time, people liked my work and gave feedback about my blog which is the my biggest motivation.So thanks to all readers.

I started this blog with the feeling that I may help others in healing,I may represent optimism in different situations of life and my writings may influence the bright side of people, not sure  if I had been able to do  much but somewhere your feedback reflect my vision and mission.

There is another good news that I have been nominated this time for a new award which is The Versatile blogger award by Maya Bhat . She has a very amazing blog so make sure that you visit her through the link .

liebster

So here are the rules to follow after accepting the nomination :

  1. Thank the blogger who has nominated you and share his or her link.
  2. Nominate 10 or less than 10 other blogger friends for this award with their link.
  3. They must be informed about it.

I am making a slight change in the rule by making it an open nomination this time ,so feel free to claim it .You all deserve it.

Now Maya has forwarded the question, which ask some facts about me :

  1. When I am good ,I am really good but if someone  poke me with bad intention, then they may see my worst side.

  2. I believe in hope, first or last doesn’t matter until I have the gut feeling.

  3. There is nothing which I can’t do, all I need is patience and strong focus.

  4. I love by heart not by mind .

  5. For people whom I love the most , I can do anything for them in my limit and even beyond.

Thanks for reading !!