Posted in discussion, Zafu #LifeBeyondStigma

Parenthood : plan as per choice, not for sacrifice

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Yesterday I was talking to my mother over the phone ,while conversing she gave me news that my cousin brother who was married very recently(three or four months back) going to become father and I  just jumped out of my skin after hearing it. Not because I wasn’t happy knowing this and misjudged them on  my credibility gap but my mind was encircled with lots of questions in that moment of dilemma, like how much time the couple have spend with each other before the entry of a new life in their  marriage ? may be they don’t see any difference in their life  before and after a new born or may be for them it’s one of the responsibility which they wanna complete or it just caught them unawares. I hope it’s their choice, not a sacrifice of dreams as I think every couple remain  enough intelligent  to decide about their future but the story doesn’t end here. Every time when my mom gives me such shocking news of baby bump within short span of marriage , somewhere her motive is to remind me that it’s been around three years since I got married and still I haven’t given it a thought because I am going to enter in my thirties very soon and as per metric of a happy married life made by our society we should have had a child in our life till now. So I understand her concern about the complications of conceiving that a woman may get once her age cross thirties as per what many doctors  says but me and my husband have mutual belief in ideology that  a couple should enjoy their togetherness alone for some years before a new member get add on in their life as it give them more time to understand each other, should achieve a set of dreams ,travel a lot and party hard as life will not be same in every phase , should be ready to face the future surprises while making  present alluring as no one  knows what may bolt from the blue  more over age is just a number , one should only become a parent when their mind allow them to do so ,but of course before menopause otherwise IVF is the only way .

I know it’s difficult to live life on one’s own conditions because life always keep throwing waves of shocks on your plate for which you might not be prepared but however it will be,  it’s better than regretting for not living one’s life to the fullest and putting a burden of sacrifice further on children . It might be termed as selfishness of ambitions and wanderlust in society but one should be happy and proud to lead a unique life and setting  an ideal road map for future generations.

These are my thoughts rest I leave upon you to decide.

Thought of the day :

 Only uniqueness of thoughts  makes  you ideal .

Never let your smile fall off from your face.

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Author:

Writings By Payal Tyagi is cherishing by optimistic thoughts on experiences every person gets through in journey called life.If you love to read varied memoirs chunks with poetry, quotes, stories having motivational message behind ,this blog is waiting for you.

18 thoughts on “Parenthood : plan as per choice, not for sacrifice

    1. Yeah right but not many people understand this in our Indian society. They think that today’s generation is just afraid of taking responsibility and planning for parenthood is a myth because it can be handled .There is a line in hindi many people say “Baccha ho jayega to pal bhi jayega hi ” , I mean why to consider it as a burden , having a baby is a precious gem of life and one should do it when they are ready to welcome.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. So true. Motherhood is a wonderful journey .. But nothing wrong in properly planning .if they feel they aren’t ready and still just because of society’s pressure or relatives words if one is going to make babies then in the later stage I’m sure without proper planning they would end up being too stressed out handling the baby and may feel helpless..

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      2. Right Supreet ,this is what happens . People do kids just after marriage and then they feel that their life is totally stressed between family and office because kids start their schooling once they get three years old and those three years passes so fastly that parents even don’t realize that when their kid has been grown.After having kids there are so many things for which a couple need to become more responsible.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Exactly.. It becomes difficult monitoring small kid , its health , your office commitment, either of the parent might have to take a break for a while.. Cannot depend on aged parents or in laws to look after them for 8 hrs continuously..timely Feeding . too many things will come into picture. I don’t say don’t have babies but think about implications and plan it properly.. Hain na payal ??

        Liked by 1 person

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