Posted in Zafu #LifeBeyondStigma

Schools are no more “Temples of Education”

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“ Since the time Rubina started going to new school, she ain’t enjoying her school days and most of the time make excuses for staying at home.I am afraid, what could be reason of this drastic change ? ”,her mother told to her neighbour, whom daughter Neha is Rubina’s classmate.

“My daughter also told me that Rubina doesn’t talk  much in class and  teachers insulted her sometimes for not doing home work and clam up in class, probably this could be the reason of the excuses she make, for not going to school.”

“But at least she should be interested in making new friends ,even Neha ain’t her friend.Doesn’t Neha like her company ?? ”

“Sorry ,I have never conversed about it with Neha ,so I can’t say.But you can directly question her.”

“Yeah I need to find out solution of this puzzle .”

Suddenly the bell rang ……

“Ah ! Someone is there at the door,I think it must be Neha. I will just come.”

“Yeah Sure”

“Hey Mom ,Why you took so much time in opening door ??” Neha asked to her mother.

“Beta, I was just talking to Meeta Aunty (Rubina’s Mom).She is here. Go and meet her,I will bring you juice.”

“Hi Aunty,How are you ?? ”

“I am good beta, how are you ? How is your school going ?”

“I am fine Aunty and school is  phenomenal.”

“Seems you enjoy a lot in school.”

“Yeah Aunty,I really love going to school.I am favourite of many teachers and have really great friends in school.”

“Oh !! That’s sounds so perplexing.”

“ Why Aunty ?? ”

“Because none of this is happening with Rubina, that’s the reason beta, I am sitting here.Can you tell me why Rubina feel so isolated in school that she doesn’t enjoy spending time in school ??”

“Aunty as far I know, nobody wants to talk to her in class.”

“Why??” ( Meeta was stopped dead after listening this )

“Because most of the time she doesn’t clam up when teachers ask her something.The only subject she love is Arts.So other subject teachers ordered the class mates to be at daggers drawn with her. ”

“What ?? This is happening with her and she never told me about it. How teachers can teach children such act of forbidding ?? I need to talk with the Principal about it.

Thanks for your help Beta.”

“No problem Aunty but I think it’s Rubina’s fault as she is not concentrating on her studies and so teachers don’t like her.

Neha’s mom stared at her , gesturing for not behaving this way.But she ignored.

And I have also heard from class mates that Rubina belongs to poor family and that’s why she is like this.”

“What ? ? Oh My God !! Is that also the point to consider ?? Neha beta I don’t know whether you will get my point or not, but it could be vice-versa.May be she don’t like her teachers and that’s why she don’t focus on other subjects apart from arts.Since the ancient ages ,teachers had the history of being partial on the basis of background of children, so why can’t they would be now (crying on her daughter’s ordeal )”

Rubina’ s father was a Farmer and  he wanted his daughter to be in top school of the city so that she may receive quality education and reach at a level where they couldn’t but little did they know that schools also judge students on basis of father’s occupation.

I agree with the fact that competition should be there in schools, but what kind of competition is this, where a child become a loser, in judgement  of other people on the basis of family background ??

Why teachers can’t treat every child equally ,irrespective of whether student is concentrating /not concentrating on studies ? Isn’t their responsibility to check what’s wrong with the child and how they can improve, rather than just giving the punishment of isolation ??

It is always said that, “schools days are best ”.But  it’s a wrong statement for those children who doesn’t get a  second chance ,when they remain unable to prove themselves in first round.

This is the reason why children come under stress and anxiety at such a age when they  should live their life care free.

 

This  is the first time I am penning down a tale, inspired by true events.Thanks for reading and please share your feedback.Your feedback will help me to improve and ink more quality work for you.

Posted in Zafu #LifeBeyondStigma

Not Introvert but Sociophobic

  

She has many friends to tell her about their happiness , but when ever she get sad she can’t share her feelings because of fear of getting misjudged. She doesn’t want to go to social gatherings  because of the fear of getting hurt and embarrassed. She doesn’t want to hang out with friends because  her counter point may  get her remarked as arguable person and now she is not confident anymore when  surrounded by people.

Why this phobia happened ?

 She felt  that whenever she has tried to get close with any of her friends ,they mocked her by telling about ambiguity of her talks which hurted her. When she tried to enjoy in a function people just commented on her appearance and how she behaved over excitededly. When ever she expressed her opinion either people had thrown their tantrums  telling that  her opinion is absurd or just tried to impose their opinions on her.

So now a question arises ?  Who is responsible for her Sociophobic condition ?

Either she or society …..

Does anybody have the answer ??????

 Criticism of being natural generates phobia of being social…..

This post is not any gender specific ,it’s just explained by an instance.

So if you have any such friends , don’t make them feel awkward as each of us have some nuisance inside , just try to understand such people and you may get a best friend in them.

© Payal Tyagi

Posted in Zafu #LifeBeyondStigma

Anxiety or Intuition

Her heart was crying

making her eyes wet

and she didn’t know the reason

of  such deep pain inside….

Was this an anxiety or a bad intuition, does anybody  have the answer ??

 

Thanks for reading and never let your smile fall off from your face.

I will miss you guys and will come back with a new travel story.

Posted in Zafu #LifeBeyondStigma

Scars can’t be mend

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Love was immense when it started between them,

entirely sweet and magical ;

soon it turned abusive and dominant,

and  she started frightening with his actions,

thought  parting of their ways ;

But this hurted his ego , he decided to take revenge,

and  it all just ended with her burnt face.

 

Don’t force anyone to love you ,love is a blessing  and if some one has cheated on you just remember revenge is not the solution as Karma comes back, says the law of universe.

~Payal Tyagi

Posted in Motivation, Zafu #LifeBeyondStigma

Working woman or Homemaker : Both are worth praising

” Dear daughter , I want you to become a working woman and be independent because a home maker like me who don’t earn money , always get in ears a word called liability ” , a mother said to her daughter.

” Mom , the hard work that you had put in our upbringing and making this home beautiful is no where less than the effort I will put after being a working women or Papa had put in to make our life comfortable and the words you have heard were because of patriarchal thinking  and you know what , you can start  earning now as well  ” , daughter said.

” But my time has gone and I can’t work for someone at this age “, mother said.

” Mom, age is just a number , it’s time to give exposure to your talent of creativity  which is not at all difficult in this world of internet  “,  her daughter said.

Thanks for reading and never let smile fall off from your face .

© Payal Tyagi

Posted in discussion, Zafu #LifeBeyondStigma

Parenthood : plan as per choice, not for sacrifice

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Yesterday I was talking to my mother over the phone ,while conversing she gave me news that my cousin brother who was married very recently(three or four months back) going to become father and I  just jumped out of my skin after hearing it. Not because I wasn’t happy knowing this and misjudged them on  my credibility gap but my mind was encircled with lots of questions in that moment of dilemma, like how much time the couple have spend with each other before the entry of a new life in their  marriage ? may be they don’t see any difference in their life  before and after a new born or may be for them it’s one of the responsibility which they wanna complete or it just caught them unawares. I hope it’s their choice, not a sacrifice of dreams as I think every couple remain  enough intelligent  to decide about their future but the story doesn’t end here. Every time when my mom gives me such shocking news of baby bump within short span of marriage , somewhere her motive is to remind me that it’s been around three years since I got married and still I haven’t given it a thought because I am going to enter in my thirties very soon and as per metric of a happy married life made by our society we should have had a child in our life till now. So I understand her concern about the complications of conceiving that a woman may get once her age cross thirties as per what many doctors  says but me and my husband have mutual belief in ideology that  a couple should enjoy their togetherness alone for some years before a new member get add on in their life as it give them more time to understand each other, should achieve a set of dreams ,travel a lot and party hard as life will not be same in every phase , should be ready to face the future surprises while making  present alluring as no one  knows what may bolt from the blue  more over age is just a number , one should only become a parent when their mind allow them to do so ,but of course before menopause otherwise IVF is the only way .

I know it’s difficult to live life on one’s own conditions because life always keep throwing waves of shocks on your plate for which you might not be prepared but however it will be,  it’s better than regretting for not living one’s life to the fullest and putting a burden of sacrifice further on children . It might be termed as selfishness of ambitions and wanderlust in society but one should be happy and proud to lead a unique life and setting  an ideal road map for future generations.

These are my thoughts rest I leave upon you to decide.

Thought of the day :

 Only uniqueness of thoughts  makes  you ideal .

Never let your smile fall off from your face.

Posted in Motivation, Zafu #LifeBeyondStigma

Know Your Purpose

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The one who survive in  drastic situations are not the one’s with most money and strength but the one’s who have something to live for ,wrote by Victor Frankl’s in his book “Man’s Search for Meaning” .

Have you ever gave  a thought ,that what’s your purpose of existence ?? We all have come in this world with some objective but sometimes  a thin line  get drawn between existence and realisation of purpose which makes people blur in their minds. There are people who just live their own life, become selfish and leave  this earth without doing anything for anyone , these sort of people get forgotten  much early then people who work and earn for themselves  too but with a difference.Like Lady Gaga said once,

” I don’t want to  make money,I want to make difference “.

That difference is leaving a positive impact.So the whole discussion is not about getting remembered but very much about impact by doing an effort to change someone else’s  life which make a person more successful  .

Even if a Entrepreneur makes a product that doesn’t serves the purpose of it’s existence, people don’t buy it.

So to make it more clear some of the aphorism from successful people

  who says ,

1. Family is everything ,

2.Superhuman work ethic #hustle and #grind  & Find your meaning and make it count  ~ Scooter Braun

3.What ever your purpose is, strive for it  ~ Justin Bieber from his album ” Purpose “.

4. Find a way to make an impact that is tied to business ~ Greg Propper ,Co-founder Propper Daley

5. There is nothing good about fame until it inspire others  ~ Russell Simmons .

6. Feel the good in people and inspire them to take action ~ Ahmen, Pop Artist

Have a wonderful day !!

Posted in Zafu #LifeBeyondStigma

Friend as Zafu

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” I am really sad because of all difficulties I am facing in my life,I am not getting promoted ,my salary doesn’t justify the hard work I put in my work,I need to buy a home which I can’t do and sometimes I feel like my life has no motive ” ,He told to his friend.

“You know you should thank to God for capabilities  you have and you can always find other options to get what you want ,sometimes time doesn’t work according to our effort, but that doesn’t mean that we get anxious and stop trying.Also when you feel that you don’t have motive in life, try to help those who don’t have education to find work , who can’t afford a place to buy on rent even and who don’t have food to eat”, his friend said.

This is just a piece of fiction but I think  if every friend act as zafu, help his/her friend in realising the importance of their life and show them facets of positivity when they need it most then stress, depression and suicide like terms will be rarely heard.

Thought of the day :

When ever you feel that you are the most unhappy person on earth, look around yourself and you will find people who have many more reasons of grief but still they manage to smile and think positive.

© Payal Tyagi,Writings By Payal Tyagi

Posted in Zafu #LifeBeyondStigma

A Poem on Dementia : Spread the word

 

 

 

 

Maybe

When I wander…………………………………

don’t tell me to come and sit down ;

wander with me,

it may be because I am hungry, thirsty, need the toilet,

or, maybe I just need to stretch my legs……….

When I call for my mother………(even though I’m ninety!)

don’t tell me she has died;

reassure me, cuddle me, ask me about her.

It may be that I am looking for the security that my mother

once gave.

When I shout out……………..

please don’t ask me to be quiet……or walk by

I am trying to tell you something,

but have difficulty in telling you what

be patient…………Try to find out,

I may be in pain……….

When I become agitated or appear angry,

Please don’t reach for the drugs first ;

I am trying to tell you something,

It may be too hot….. too bright……too noisy,

Or maybe it’s because I am missing my loved ones.

Try to find out……first……

When I don’t eat my dinner or drink my tea……

It may be because I’ve forgotten how to;

Show me the what to do….remind me,

It may be that I just need to hold my knife and fork

I may know what to do then………

When I push you away when you trying to help me……,

A wash, perhaps, or getting dressed.

Maybe it’s because I have forgotten what you 

 have said;

Keep telling me what you are doing…….,

Over and over and over…………

Maybe others will think you’re the one that needs the help!

With all my thoughts and maybe’s,

Perhaps it will be you…..who reaches my thoughts……

Understands my fears and will make me feel safe…..

Maybe it will be you…..that I need to thank

If only I knew how……………..

Maybe, just Maybe………

P.S : Dementia is a general term used to describe symptoms of a large group of illness which cause decline in person’s cognition and affects  activities of daily living, memory and social skills.It can happen to anyone but become most common in people during the age of 60 or above.

Care for your elders ,respect them and their problems.Your love might be the best cure for them.

Spread the word ,make others smile and never let smile fall off from your face even.