Posted in Zafu #LifeBeyondStigma

Depression #Let’stalk

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Last year we heard about major sensational cases of Pratyusha Banerjee’s suicide and Jia Khan’s case ,who were not just the ordinary girls but the girls who made their name in the Indian TV industry and  get failed in love life, so they gave up . Here a question arise, do they had right to give up their life for a person who just came three to four years back, without thinking about their parents who came in  life much before that or I would say don’t think about anyone but isn’t their life so precious to ruin it for someone else who didn’t understand their value and took them for granted and the answer comes ,”No, they should not“..

Here I will narrate a real incident to inspire how nihilism of depression could be turn bright as shine of sun when it rise.I have a friend named Anu (fictional name) who was in very much love with a  boy named  Arun(fictional name) and they were happy in their relation till one year .They both were studying till that time.Arun was very much possessive for her and slowly slowly in one way or the other he got her disconnected from her friends.Even he hacked her social media accounts for a time . He just became her world & because of his dominating nature she used to do whatever he asked her to do. He used to assault her in public, but even then she couldn’t break her  relation because she was not having any trustworthy friend at that time around her whom she could rely on. After a year both completed their college and got placement.Even after so much complications in relationship Anu wanted to marry with Arun.She got job in small marketing company ,her schedule became hectic and Arun was employed in reputed MNC and he started harassing her mentally, for  working long hours and coming late at night and not searching a better job because for him it was not a reputed one.He started judging her skills. She belonged to a middle class family, who hardly afforded her education and so she had the pressure of responsibility of doing the job ,to start her career and the most notable point is  classification of job does not exist and no one becomes CEO of an organization in  a day but Arun could not understand that .She tried to change her job, but didn’t get any by that time.Gradually the fights between Anu and Arun increased and to lessen the turmoil she resigned from her job, just to make her love relationship strong & for finding better job in terms of Arun.A week after she resigned ,Arun revealed that he  want to break up the relation as he is with another girl from last one month.Her life was totally shaken as she was jobless and heart broken and none of us was with her because we didn’t know her world’s circumstances .

She found a new job but she could not come out of her depression.People around her in hostel used to make comments and bully her as if she was responsible for her break up. But she tried hard to live .She used to weep in nights,but she didn’t give up.Even she was not getting stability in job and it was difficult to survive in those dusky days.She had to change one job and  get another one,because at one place she was not liking work and at other place she became victim of politics played by colleagues.The only support she was having was of her parents,due to which she was not having courage of taking any drastic step .Eventually after an eerie phase she got a good job with stability to step up her career and after that she never turned back.She got married to a person who understand her very well and love her more than anything else.

 She told me now about this incident of her life when we met at my home.I asked her the reason why she didn’t tell me once,but I myself understood her hesitation because she was afraid of getting judged.Her story is an inspiration for every ordinary girl/boy going through same mental trauma.Our life is precious,it is a gift by God.Life may be hell today but it could turn in to bright future .Suicide should not be counted as suicide , it is a murder which is provoked by some other person whom we loved most,society and family relatives , due to which a person never come back home ,even if he/she wants too.People need to come forward and share their depression stories to lessen the burden of their heart and mind and Deepika Padukone (Bollywood Actress)started the process last year , Thanks to her for being such a great inspiration .We all have responsibility towards our society,don’t accentuate a person more who is already facing difficulty in his education ,personal life or anything else,instead we should try to make them laugh,lighten up their life by encouraging them.Nothing is better than inspiring a person to live his/her life on their own conditions

 

Depression #Letstalk

It’s an old post , thought to share it again.Thanks for reading 🙂

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Posted in Motivation, Zafu #LifeBeyondStigma

Zumba is the new trend in fitness

Are you a person who always want to do something for yourself and your body but find gym ,jog and just exercises too boring ? then let’s do hi-5 because it happened with me too. As we know there are two kinds of people , some people who doesn’t gain weight even if they don’t exercise and eat everything and some are those kinda who if don’t take care of their body easily gain weight and I am from one of the second kinda . So in pressure of doing something, firstly I tried gym but it wasn’t apt for me ,then I started morning walk even but couldn’t continue it due to environmental effects and in this hustle bustle of trying new things, leaving them with no constraint on eating habits ,I had gained lot of weight in past few months and everybody around me made sure of reminding that.

What I had found about my requirement of joining activity was something with which I may get swayed and even if I try to discontinue, it doesn’t let me.But before finding out what exactly should I do ,I went through lots of dilemma.Firstly thought to join yoga, then about learning swimming ,joining badminton and different activities, finally I came to know about Zumba from one of my friend which was new for me and I thought of exploring it. I searched for the Zumba sessions in my area and luckily my search ended with 100 feet dance studio in Hyderabad which provides Zumba, Bollywood, Tollywood dancing and Afro beat classes.For those who are not much aware about “Zumba “,

Zumba is a “fun and effective” dance fitness class that provides “A total workout, combining all elements of fitness – cardio, muscle conditioning, balance and flexibility, boosted energy and a serious dose of awesomeness each time you leave class.A unique element of Zumba is that you receive very few verbal cues. The teacher shouts encouraging words and a few basic instructions, but mostly students watch and mimic”.

The most interesting part is that all over the world it should work on same format but every studio doesn’t follow the standards.So when I took my first session of demo class in 100 feet dance studio I became very sure that this is the thing I wanna do because here it included every activity from stretching to dancing feet with some yoga asanas and meditation. The cumulative effect of doing Zumba in my dance studio is, a body that is stiff and somewhat robotic will have to react and dance in appropriate multidirectional patterns relaxing the brain, increasing cardiovascular fitness, improving agility and co-ordination, strengthening muscles, bones from multiple angles and enhancing flexibility.

Our Instructors Geeta & Sumit

And what I liked most about my studio is that, there is no one to judge you, all you need to do is move your body whether your steps are syncing or not and after some days, body get used to moves and start copying and nobody can understand this better than me because I am very bad in following.That one hour session is to relax mind and let just the body work and sometimes different sort of complement dancing becomes the icing on cake which really connected me with Zumba class because dancing has always been my hobby and it’s really fun rather than just work out and here one can expect upbeat music and dancing, including Bollywood, salsa, merengue, mambo, flamenco, soca, samba, hip hop and tango – and if you can lean into the experience, smiles, cheering, a good sweat and possibly a few giggles will be the goodies to take along .When I started my classes I used to have muscle strain and pain but instructors guided me with some low impact version until my body regained it’s normal state.Now, I know there are people who will scoff and say that Zumba is not as intense a workout as, say boot camp or one of those ultimate beach-body classes that many gym offers. That may be true, but it is also true that a class won’t do me any good if I won’t go to it.

Me and my Zumba batch mates…

Dance performance by me and my batch mates on Balam Pichkari song……

It’s been just two months since I have joined it so I can’t boast much about the changes occurred in my body shape because I have set high goals for me ,though people around me have started complementing me but what I have noticed prominently about me is that I am feeling better about myself and gained much confidence. All I can conclude is that quintessence of my persona and dance have been embraced .

Zumba is for everybody and every body.

Thanks for reading 🙂

 

Posted in Zafu #LifeBeyondStigma

Best Birthday Gift for a writer

Today is my Birthday and my life partner gifted me a book theme cake mentioning achievements of my blog from past one year, and two books on the side from the best authors of writing to read, learn and improve more in writing skills which are motivating me to take resolution of writing more, expressing more and utilising the canvas of blog for painting my thoughts and spreading the word.

Thanks Hubby 😍😍

Posted in Motivation, poetry, Quote, Zafu #LifeBeyondStigma

Myths and facts of Feminism

  

 

Feminism is  a fight against men ;

No it’s a fight against patriarchal and dominating thoughts ,

Feminism is  a fight against freedom gifted to men;

No it’s a fight against inequality between freedom of men and women,

Feminism is  a fight against the strength that a man’s body can have ;

No it’s a fight against the body shaming that only women face,

Feminism is a fight against marrying a successful man ;

No it’s a fight against repudiation of  high pay in case of woman

Feminism is a fight against customs and traditions of arrange marriage;

No it’s a fight against perfectly inelastic demand curve  set for a gender’s family.

Feminism is not fight against men, it’s a fight against thoughts.

© Payal Tyagi

Posted in Motivation, relationships, Zafu #LifeBeyondStigma

Seven steps for remaining strong and getting over from break up

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Yes I am flustered…………………………….

Relationships are made for living happily with a person whom you love the most.But what if those relations become complicated ?? What if  threads of trust in relationship get break ?? or What if  the other person has taken you for granted ? I think in all such cases the answer would be it’s better to get rid from such relationship,Right ??But it’s not that easy to detach the strings of emotional connection .That’s why phase of breakup become difficult to bear and mostly people go through depression . So it won’t be a great suggestion if I would say once you breakup forget everything in a second.But yes there are few steps which may help in self – recovery :

  1. Don’t make alcohol your best friend : Not every but mostly  men and women choose this ubiquitous path of DevD so that they may sleep well ,could easily forget the person and pain of relationship. But that doesn’t happen ,instead this way may make you lost deep in black hole from which you wanted to come out.

        When you are happy consuming alcohol might be fun but when you are sad ,it becomes addiction.

2. Don’t hesitate in asking for help because your life is important : If you don’t have any trustworthy friend or family person with whom you may share about your circumstances to come out from the situation, take the help of Counselors .I know there is societal stigma attached with it as mostly people think that a person only take help of Wellness coaches and Psychologists when they go through some sort of mental disorder.But it’s not true  . This phase is so sensitive that one should take care of his /her mental health along with physical wellbeing with positive attitude and thanks to technology as there are many AI platforms in mental health care where one can take help online in an anonymous way too.

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3.Go for a trip and plan for some adventurous activities: Try to change your surroundings by planning a trip with your friends or family . If you like traveling this is best naturopathy to make yourself feel better.

4.Join some activity classes for leisure  : Yoga is the best therapy for maintaining physical and mental wellbeing at a time , apart from this one can join activities like swimming, dance and music to relax mood and sustaining the inner confidence.

It is said that when people feel good about their physique, they become  more confident about themselves too.

5. Focus on your long term goals : You might have made some long term goals with the person who is not in your life anymore but that doesn’t mean that your other goals have been devastated too.This is the time when you can focus more on your career and may become legend  or may give your precious time to those people who are always standing behind you ,no matter what.

6.Not every breakup become the end of story : This point is very important because it is not necessary that if you have been through break up in your relationship once, you can’t patch up.If the duo of a love story are really connected with each other but they break up due to family issues or some ego factor , then they need to stand strong with each other forgetting the ego because if they are together then no one can come between them.

7.Forget the bitter moments of past from your life by flushing them off  from your mind and forgive people for the sake of treasuring the sweet moments .

Thank you for reading !!

Sometimes it’s important to let go the wrong person so that the right one may come in your life at the right time……

©Payal Tyagi

Posted in Zafu #LifeBeyondStigma

Four tips you should follow if you lack lucidity in verbal communication

 

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Have you ever encountered  problem of lucidity while communicating with other people either at work place or in social circle who misunderstood your point most of the time because you were unable to express yourself  precisely and so every time after such conversation you felt disappointed ?? If yes then you would be always thinking that what  should be the solution.Well, there are few easy tips which can be followed :

1.Don’t stop explaining :

When ever you get trapped in such conversations and presentations , don’t lose hope .If people doesn’t get your point at very first time, be patient and explain it again rather than leaving conversation in between.

2. Observe the bottle neck points :

Every time when you go through such circumstances ,observe the bottle neck points.For example if you are experiencing problem in explaining to your Boss what you did in your project , even after knowing the answer then next time write down all the points of problems you faced in your explanation and try to find whether it’s because of the language or due to lack of knowledge, solve it accordingly and rehearse before the next discussion with your Boss.

3. Take stand for yourself :

If some one try to impose their thinking on you because they think you don’t have a valid point to explain ,don’t worry, if you know why you are right ,stick to your point without hesitating and if you know there is a flaw, accept that too because you don’t need to win every conversation . For  example if some one ask you why you are still not married even at the age of 30 which is very late as per the other person then explain them that you know that you have the right to chose the path of your life rather than following standard bar of getting married before thirty even if they say you should do it.

4. Talk less ,listen more :

Most of times we couldn’t give the right answer because of lack of clarity in knowledge about the topic . So talk less ,listen more  and react accordingly .

Let me know what you think could be done more, if a person faces hurdle in putting their point forward while conversing.

Hey Fellas, Hope you all are doing well . I came on WP after a break and I was missing my interaction with you all as blogging became an important part of my life.

So thanks for being connected and keep smiling.

Posted in Zafu #LifeBeyondStigma

Schools are no more “Temples of Education”

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“ Since the time Rubina started going to new school, she ain’t enjoying her school days and most of the time make excuses for staying at home.I am afraid, what could be reason of this drastic change ? ”,her mother told to her neighbour, whom daughter Neha is Rubina’s classmate.

“My daughter also told me that Rubina doesn’t talk  much in class and  teachers insulted her sometimes for not doing home work and clam up in class, probably this could be the reason of the excuses she make, for not going to school.”

“But at least she should be interested in making new friends ,even Neha ain’t her friend.Doesn’t Neha like her company ?? ”

“Sorry ,I have never conversed about it with Neha ,so I can’t say.But you can directly question her.”

“Yeah I need to find out solution of this puzzle .”

Suddenly the bell rang ……

“Ah ! Someone is there at the door,I think it must be Neha. I will just come.”

“Yeah Sure”

“Hey Mom ,Why you took so much time in opening door ??” Neha asked to her mother.

“Beta, I was just talking to Meeta Aunty (Rubina’s Mom).She is here. Go and meet her,I will bring you juice.”

“Hi Aunty,How are you ?? ”

“I am good beta, how are you ? How is your school going ?”

“I am fine Aunty and school is  phenomenal.”

“Seems you enjoy a lot in school.”

“Yeah Aunty,I really love going to school.I am favourite of many teachers and have really great friends in school.”

“Oh !! That’s sounds so perplexing.”

“ Why Aunty ?? ”

“Because none of this is happening with Rubina, that’s the reason beta, I am sitting here.Can you tell me why Rubina feel so isolated in school that she doesn’t enjoy spending time in school ??”

“Aunty as far I know, nobody wants to talk to her in class.”

“Why??” ( Meeta was stopped dead after listening this )

“Because most of the time she doesn’t clam up when teachers ask her something.The only subject she love is Arts.So other subject teachers ordered the class mates to be at daggers drawn with her. ”

“What ?? This is happening with her and she never told me about it. How teachers can teach children such act of forbidding ?? I need to talk with the Principal about it.

Thanks for your help Beta.”

“No problem Aunty but I think it’s Rubina’s fault as she is not concentrating on her studies and so teachers don’t like her.

Neha’s mom stared at her , gesturing for not behaving this way.But she ignored.

And I have also heard from class mates that Rubina belongs to poor family and that’s why she is like this.”

“What ? ? Oh My God !! Is that also the point to consider ?? Neha beta I don’t know whether you will get my point or not, but it could be vice-versa.May be she don’t like her teachers and that’s why she don’t focus on other subjects apart from arts.Since the ancient ages ,teachers had the history of being partial on the basis of background of children, so why can’t they would be now (crying on her daughter’s ordeal )”

Rubina’ s father was a Farmer and  he wanted his daughter to be in top school of the city so that she may receive quality education and reach at a level where they couldn’t but little did they know that schools also judge students on basis of father’s occupation.

I agree with the fact that competition should be there in schools, but what kind of competition is this, where a child become a loser, in judgement  of other people on the basis of family background ??

Why teachers can’t treat every child equally ,irrespective of whether student is concentrating /not concentrating on studies ? Isn’t their responsibility to check what’s wrong with the child and how they can improve, rather than just giving the punishment of isolation ??

It is always said that, “schools days are best ”.But  it’s a wrong statement for those children who doesn’t get a  second chance ,when they remain unable to prove themselves in first round.

This is the reason why children come under stress and anxiety at such a age when they  should live their life care free.

 

This  is the first time I am penning down a tale, inspired by true events.Thanks for reading and please share your feedback.Your feedback will help me to improve and ink more quality work for you.

Posted in Zafu #LifeBeyondStigma

Not Introvert but Sociophobic

  

She has many friends to tell her about their happiness , but when ever she get sad she can’t share her feelings because of fear of getting misjudged. She doesn’t want to go to social gatherings  because of the fear of getting hurt and embarrassed. She doesn’t want to hang out with friends because  her counter point may  get her remarked as arguable person and now she is not confident anymore when  surrounded by people.

Why this phobia happened ?

 She felt  that whenever she has tried to get close with any of her friends ,they mocked her by telling about ambiguity of her talks which hurted her. When she tried to enjoy in a function people just commented on her appearance and how she behaved over excitededly. When ever she expressed her opinion either people had thrown their tantrums  telling that  her opinion is absurd or just tried to impose their opinions on her.

So now a question arises ?  Who is responsible for her Sociophobic condition ?

Either she or society …..

Does anybody have the answer ??????

 Criticism of being natural generates phobia of being social…..

This post is not any gender specific ,it’s just explained by an instance.

So if you have any such friends , don’t make them feel awkward as each of us have some nuisance inside , just try to understand such people and you may get a best friend in them.

© Payal Tyagi

Posted in Zafu #LifeBeyondStigma

Anxiety or Intuition

Her heart was crying

making her eyes wet

and she didn’t know the reason

of  such deep pain inside….

Was this an anxiety or a bad intuition, does anybody  have the answer ??

 

Thanks for reading and never let your smile fall off from your face.

I will miss you guys and will come back with a new travel story.