Posted in Motivation, Zafu #LifeBeyondStigma

Seven steps for remaining strong and getting over from break up

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Yes I am flustered…………………………….

Relationships are made for living happily with a person whom you love the most.But what if those relations become complicated ?? What if  threads of trust in relationship get break ?? or What if  the other person has taken you for granted ? I think in all such cases the answer would be it’s better to get rid from such relationship,Right ??But it’s not that easy to detach the strings of emotional connection .That’s why phase of breakup become difficult to bear and mostly people go through depression . So it won’t be a great suggestion if I would say once you breakup forget everything in a second.But yes there are few steps which may help in self – recovery :

  1. Don’t make alcohol your best friend : Not every but mostly  men and women choose this ubiquitous path of DevD so that they may sleep well ,could easily forget the person and pain of relationship. But that doesn’t happen ,instead this way may make you lost deep in black hole from which you wanted to come out.

        When you are happy consuming alcohol might be fun but when you are sad ,it becomes addiction.

2. Don’t hesitate in asking for help because your life is important : If you don’t have any trustworthy friend or family person with whom you may share about your circumstances to come out from the situation, take the help of Counselors .I know there is societal stigma attached with it as mostly people think that a person only take help of Wellness coaches and Psychologists when they go through some sort of mental disorder.But it’s not true  . This phase is so sensitive that one should take care of his /her mental health along with physical wellbeing with positive attitude and thanks to technology as there are many AI platforms in mental health care where one can take help online in an anonymous way too.

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3.Go for a trip and plan for some adventurous activities: Try to change your surroundings by planning a trip with your friends or family . If you like traveling this is best naturopathy to make yourself feel better.

4.Join some activity classes for leisure  : Yoga is the best therapy for maintaining physical and mental wellbeing at a time , apart from this one can join activities like swimming, dance and music to relax mood and sustaining the inner confidence.

It is said that when people feel good about their physique, they become  more confident about themselves too.

5. Focus on your long term goals : You might have made some long term goals with the person who is not in your life anymore but that doesn’t mean that your other goals have been devastated too.This is the time when you can focus more on your career and may become legend  or may give your precious time to those people who are always standing behind you ,no matter what.

6.Not every breakup become the end of story : This point is very important because it is not necessary that if you have been through break up in your relationship once, you can’t patch up.If the duo of a love story are really connected with each other but they break up due to family issues or some ego factor , then they need to stand strong with each other forgetting the ego because if they are together then no one can come between them.

7.Forget the bitter moments of past from your life by flushing them off  from your mind and forgive people for the sake of treasuring the sweet moments .

Thank you for reading !!

Sometimes it’s important to let go the wrong person so that the right one may come in your life at the right time……

Posted in Zafu #LifeBeyondStigma

Four tips you should follow if you lack lucidity in verbal communication

 

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Have you ever encountered  problem of lucidity while communicating with other people either at work place or in social circle who misunderstood your point most of the time because you were unable to express yourself  precisely and so every time after such conversation you felt disappointed ?? If yes then you would be always thinking that what  should be the solution.Well, there are few easy tips which can be followed :

1.Don’t stop explaining :

When ever you get trapped in such conversations and presentations , don’t lose hope .If people doesn’t get your point at very first time, be patient and explain it again rather than leaving conversation in between.

2. Observe the bottle neck points :

Every time when you go through such circumstances ,observe the bottle neck points.For example if you are experiencing problem in explaining to your Boss what you did in your project , even after knowing the answer then next time write down all the points of problems you faced in your explanation and try to find whether it’s because of the language or due to lack of knowledge, solve it accordingly and rehearse before the next discussion with your Boss.

3. Take stand for yourself :

If some one try to impose their thinking on you because they think you don’t have a valid point to explain ,don’t worry, if you know why you are right ,stick to your point without hesitating and if you know there is a flaw, accept that too because you don’t need to win every conversation . For  example if some one ask you why you are still not married even at the age of 30 which is very late as per the other person then explain them that you know that you have the right to chose the path of your life rather than following standard bar of getting married before thirty even if they say you should do it.

4. Talk less ,listen more :

Most of times we couldn’t give the right answer because of lack of clarity in knowledge about the topic . So talk less ,listen more  and react accordingly .

Let me know what you think could be done more, if a person faces hurdle in putting their point forward while conversing.

Hey Fellas, Hope you all are doing well . I came on WP after a break and I was missing my interaction with you all as blogging became an important part of my life.

So thanks for being connected and keep smiling.

Posted in Zafu #LifeBeyondStigma

Schools are no more “Temples of Education”

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“ Since the time Rubina started going to new school, she ain’t enjoying her school days and most of the time make excuses for staying at home.I am afraid, what could be reason of this drastic change ? ”,her mother told to her neighbour, whom daughter Neha is Rubina’s classmate.

“My daughter also told me that Rubina doesn’t talk  much in class and  teachers insulted her sometimes for not doing home work and clam up in class, probably this could be the reason of the excuses she make, for not going to school.”

“But at least she should be interested in making new friends ,even Neha ain’t her friend.Doesn’t Neha like her company ?? ”

“Sorry ,I have never conversed about it with Neha ,so I can’t say.But you can directly question her.”

“Yeah I need to find out solution of this puzzle .”

Suddenly the bell rang ……

“Ah ! Someone is there at the door,I think it must be Neha. I will just come.”

“Yeah Sure”

“Hey Mom ,Why you took so much time in opening door ??” Neha asked to her mother.

“Beta, I was just talking to Meeta Aunty (Rubina’s Mom).She is here. Go and meet her,I will bring you juice.”

“Hi Aunty,How are you ?? ”

“I am good beta, how are you ? How is your school going ?”

“I am fine Aunty and school is  phenomenal.”

“Seems you enjoy a lot in school.”

“Yeah Aunty,I really love going to school.I am favourite of many teachers and have really great friends in school.”

“Oh !! That’s sounds so perplexing.”

“ Why Aunty ?? ”

“Because none of this is happening with Rubina, that’s the reason beta, I am sitting here.Can you tell me why Rubina feel so isolated in school that she doesn’t enjoy spending time in school ??”

“Aunty as far I know, nobody wants to talk to her in class.”

“Why??” ( Meeta was stopped dead after listening this )

“Because most of the time she doesn’t clam up when teachers ask her something.The only subject she love is Arts.So other subject teachers ordered the class mates to be at daggers drawn with her. ”

“What ?? This is happening with her and she never told me about it. How teachers can teach children such act of forbidding ?? I need to talk with the Principal about it.

Thanks for your help Beta.”

“No problem Aunty but I think it’s Rubina’s fault as she is not concentrating on her studies and so teachers don’t like her.

Neha’s mom stared at her , gesturing for not behaving this way.But she ignored.

And I have also heard from class mates that Rubina belongs to poor family and that’s why she is like this.”

“What ? ? Oh My God !! Is that also the point to consider ?? Neha beta I don’t know whether you will get my point or not, but it could be vice-versa.May be she don’t like her teachers and that’s why she don’t focus on other subjects apart from arts.Since the ancient ages ,teachers had the history of being partial on the basis of background of children, so why can’t they would be now (crying on her daughter’s ordeal )”

Rubina’ s father was a Farmer and  he wanted his daughter to be in top school of the city so that she may receive quality education and reach at a level where they couldn’t but little did they know that schools also judge students on basis of father’s occupation.

I agree with the fact that competition should be there in schools, but what kind of competition is this, where a child become a loser, in judgement  of other people on the basis of family background ??

Why teachers can’t treat every child equally ,irrespective of whether student is concentrating /not concentrating on studies ? Isn’t their responsibility to check what’s wrong with the child and how they can improve, rather than just giving the punishment of isolation ??

It is always said that, “schools days are best ”.But  it’s a wrong statement for those children who doesn’t get a  second chance ,when they remain unable to prove themselves in first round.

This is the reason why children come under stress and anxiety at such a age when they  should live their life care free.

 

This  is the first time I am penning down a tale, inspired by true events.Thanks for reading and please share your feedback.Your feedback will help me to improve and ink more quality work for you.

Posted in Zafu #LifeBeyondStigma

Not Introvert but Sociophobic

  

She has many friends to tell her about their happiness , but when ever she get sad she can’t share her feelings because of fear of getting misjudged. She doesn’t want to go to social gatherings  because of the fear of getting hurt and embarrassed. She doesn’t want to hang out with friends because  her counter point may  get her remarked as arguable person and now she is not confident anymore when  surrounded by people.

Why this phobia happened ?

 She felt  that whenever she has tried to get close with any of her friends ,they mocked her by telling about ambiguity of her talks which hurted her. When she tried to enjoy in a function people just commented on her appearance and how she behaved over excitededly. When ever she expressed her opinion either people had thrown their tantrums  telling that  her opinion is absurd or just tried to impose their opinions on her.

So now a question arises ?  Who is responsible for her Sociophobic condition ?

Either she or society …..

Does anybody have the answer ??????

 Criticism of being natural generates phobia of being social…..

This post is not any gender specific ,it’s just explained by an instance.

So if you have any such friends , don’t make them feel awkward as each of us have some nuisance inside , just try to understand such people and you may get a best friend in them.

© Payal Tyagi

Posted in Zafu #LifeBeyondStigma

Anxiety or Intuition

Her heart was crying

making her eyes wet

and she didn’t know the reason

of  such deep pain inside….

Was this an anxiety or a bad intuition, does anybody  have the answer ??

 

Thanks for reading and never let your smile fall off from your face.

I will miss you guys and will come back with a new travel story.

Posted in Zafu #LifeBeyondStigma

Scars can’t be mend

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Love was immense when it started between them,

entirely sweet and magical ;

soon it turned abusive and dominant,

and  she started frightening with his actions,

thought  parting of their ways ;

But this hurted his ego , he decided to take revenge,

and  it all just ended with her burnt face.

 

Don’t force anyone to love you ,love is a blessing  and if some one has cheated on you just remember revenge is not the solution as Karma comes back, says the law of universe.

~Payal Tyagi

Posted in Motivation, Zafu #LifeBeyondStigma

Working woman or Homemaker : Both are worth praising

” Dear daughter , I want you to become a working woman and be independent because a home maker like me who don’t earn money , always get in ears a word called liability ” , a mother said to her daughter.

” Mom , the hard work that you had put in our upbringing and making this home beautiful is no where less than the effort I will put after being a working women or Papa had put in to make our life comfortable and the words you have heard were because of patriarchal thinking  and you know what , you can start  earning now as well  ” , daughter said.

” But my time has gone and I can’t work for someone at this age “, mother said.

” Mom, age is just a number , it’s time to give exposure to your talent of creativity  which is not at all difficult in this world of internet  “,  her daughter said.

Thanks for reading and never let smile fall off from your face .

© Payal Tyagi

Posted in discussion, Zafu #LifeBeyondStigma

Parenthood : plan as per choice, not for sacrifice

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Yesterday I was talking to my mother over the phone ,while conversing she gave me news that my cousin brother who was married very recently(three or four months back) going to become father and I  just jumped out of my skin after hearing it. Not because I wasn’t happy knowing this and misjudged them on  my credibility gap but my mind was encircled with lots of questions in that moment of dilemma, like how much time the couple have spend with each other before the entry of a new life in their  marriage ? may be they don’t see any difference in their life  before and after a new born or may be for them it’s one of the responsibility which they wanna complete or it just caught them unawares. I hope it’s their choice, not a sacrifice of dreams as I think every couple remain  enough intelligent  to decide about their future but the story doesn’t end here. Every time when my mom gives me such shocking news of baby bump within short span of marriage , somewhere her motive is to remind me that it’s been around three years since I got married and still I haven’t given it a thought because I am going to enter in my thirties very soon and as per metric of a happy married life made by our society we should have had a child in our life till now. So I understand her concern about the complications of conceiving that a woman may get once her age cross thirties as per what many doctors  says but me and my husband have mutual belief in ideology that  a couple should enjoy their togetherness alone for some years before a new member get add on in their life as it give them more time to understand each other, should achieve a set of dreams ,travel a lot and party hard as life will not be same in every phase , should be ready to face the future surprises while making  present alluring as no one  knows what may bolt from the blue  more over age is just a number , one should only become a parent when their mind allow them to do so ,but of course before menopause otherwise IVF is the only way .

I know it’s difficult to live life on one’s own conditions because life always keep throwing waves of shocks on your plate for which you might not be prepared but however it will be,  it’s better than regretting for not living one’s life to the fullest and putting a burden of sacrifice further on children . It might be termed as selfishness of ambitions and wanderlust in society but one should be happy and proud to lead a unique life and setting  an ideal road map for future generations.

These are my thoughts rest I leave upon you to decide.

Thought of the day :

 Only uniqueness of thoughts  makes  you ideal .

Never let your smile fall off from your face.

Posted in Motivation, Zafu #LifeBeyondStigma

Know Your Purpose

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The one who survive in  drastic situations are not the one’s with most money and strength but the one’s who have something to live for ,wrote by Victor Frankl’s in his book “Man’s Search for Meaning” .

Have you ever gave  a thought ,that what’s your purpose of existence ?? We all have come in this world with some objective but sometimes  a thin line  get drawn between existence and realisation of purpose which makes people blur in their minds. There are people who just live their own life, become selfish and leave  this earth without doing anything for anyone , these sort of people get forgotten  much early then people who work and earn for themselves  too but with a difference.Like Lady Gaga said once,

” I don’t want to  make money,I want to make difference “.

That difference is leaving a positive impact.So the whole discussion is not about getting remembered but very much about impact by doing an effort to change someone else’s  life which make a person more successful  .

Even if a Entrepreneur makes a product that doesn’t serves the purpose of it’s existence, people don’t buy it.

So to make it more clear some of the aphorism from successful people

  who says ,

1. Family is everything ,

2.Superhuman work ethic #hustle and #grind  & Find your meaning and make it count  ~ Scooter Braun

3.What ever your purpose is, strive for it  ~ Justin Bieber from his album ” Purpose “.

4. Find a way to make an impact that is tied to business ~ Greg Propper ,Co-founder Propper Daley

5. There is nothing good about fame until it inspire others  ~ Russell Simmons .

6. Feel the good in people and inspire them to take action ~ Ahmen, Pop Artist

Have a wonderful day !!